As the semester is starting to pick up I am starting to see my schedule get progressively busier. One of my commitments is my A Capella group here on campus. My freshman year this was my creative outlet and place where I could come from studying in the library and give my brain a break to just sing. This year I was selected as Performance Director for our group, which means I choreograph our set. I was also given a solo for our up-coming competition season. Going into the fall I was so incredibly excited about these new opportunities that allow me to take on a leadership role in something I absolutely love doing. I have recently started working on the song I will be singing for comp which is "Nobody's Solider" by Hozier. I love this song so much and it gives me the opportunity to show off the natural rasp in my voice which works great due to it's rock nature. The closer we get to working on this song during rehearsal the more nervous I have gotten about singing. The more I started to work on it the more I convinced myself that I shouldn't have been selected to solo on the song. Singing in the group was one of the highlights of my freshman year. They have seen me put in the work and now have trusted me to solo at competition this year. To be honest, I am terrified of letting them down. We also just had auditions for new members in our group and they are all so incredibly talented and amazing. I remember how much I looked up to all the upperclassman last year, especially the soloists. I want to be a role-model for them just like the upperclassman were for me. The pressure was starting to build and singing recently had started to become an obligation. I wasn't approaching it with the joy and love that I have always had for my gift of singing. I knew that I had to do something to fix this and release this negative energy.
This is where the good old fashion art of shower singing comes into play. Since I moved into my new apartment I haven't sung once in my shower. This is partly because I have new roommates and didn't want to scare them off just yet. Something about singing in your shower is so freeing. It's just you, the soap bottle that is being used as a mic, and the imaginary opening night of your sold out concert. I realized the problem was I wasn't singing for me anymore, I was trying to live up to an a standard that I decided to set for myself. So I prescribed myself a playlist of Adele and Reneé Rapp then sang my little heart out in the shower every night for a week. My roommates haven't said anything yet so hopefully it wasn't too awful. It felt so good to sing for me again, with no expectations, no pressure, just vibes. I think when we create art with the intention of pleasing other people or living up to a certain potential, we restrict ourselves from fully being able to enjoy or be immersed in our work. It's not fully original because it's being modeled to fit the approval of someone other than ourselves. This can often take away the joy that comes from creativity.
So if your art just isn't doing it for you anymore or it feels like work, go back to why you started doing it in the first place. For the love of it, whether that looks like doodling in a notebook or singing in the shower.
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